Dangers Of Tucking: A Personal Journey—Tommie to Tania

In a recent revelation, Tommie (name changed) shared profound insights into the hazards of tucking. This article vividly portrays the life-threatening consequences of twisting caused by tucking, necessitating the immediate removal of testicles. As we delve into Tommie’s journey, we’ll explore how he coped with the physical and psychological changes, leading to an identity crisis. The dynamics within his personal relationships underwent a significant shift, with his girlfriend evolving into a supportive BFF. Together, they navigated a transformative process that ultimately saw Tommie embracing Tania. Additionally, the article sheds light on documented cases in medical journals, emphasizing the need for awareness and self-care.

Tucking is a common practice embraced by male crossdressers as they strive to attain a more feminine appearance.

Tommie had lived a typical life as a boy, cherishing a strong friendship with his girlfriend. However, he concealed a secret from her—he had yet to reveal his inclination for wearing women’s clothes, keeping this aspect of himself in the closet.

jailbreak

But by age 20, things took a serious turn and he had to drop the balls in an emergency medical procedure leaving him a bit limp—but not for long as an infection began to spread.

He had been tucking now and then for at least 3 years by slipping his testicles back into the inguinal canal, pulling the empty scrotum and penis down and back toward his crack where it was fastened with tape. all in the pursuit of playing dress-up and achieving a feminine flat look. When he had to relieve himself, he would carefully grasp his scrotum and spermatic cord to extract his testicles from the inguinal canals. Then one day, a slight slip-up and he suffered from severe testicular torsion that required an immediate orchiectomy.

In the aftermath, Tommie struggled to come to terms with his new identity. ‘When I awoke from the surgery all I felt was pain. Everything was so sensitive. I couldn’t even bear to think beyond that and the fact that I was no longer a man’, recalled Tommie. The pain wasn’t just physical but emotional and psychological. He felt ashamed, emasculated and inadequate.

A year post surgery Tommie found that despite medication he was losing muscle, had zero libido and no longer had any drive for sex. ‘I just couldn’t orgasm. Worst of all I found that I was no longer attracted to my girlfriend and eventually we broke up. I reckoned I was a eunuch. It took some time to come to terms with that “, conceded Tommie.

Tommie is not alone in his predicament. Psychologists confirm that many young men struggle to cope with the psychological impact of an orchiectomy.  Dr. Elena Meggiolaro from the Scientific Institute of Psycho-Oncology Meldola, Italy  says ‘Because of the symbolic nature of the testes, the loss of this organ may affect masculinity, sexual identity, and body image.

Castration or (hemi)castration is linked to fantasies, beliefs, myths, and cultural values about the testes that can have a severely traumatic effect and psychological consequence on the person. Thus, concerns related to sexual and reproductive functioning may generate feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, and emotional distress. After removal of a testicle by orchiectomy, the person may have long-lasting feelings of loss or shame. Such feelings were more common among younger and single men. A prosthesis, did not help’. 

Another psychologist added, ‘In severe cases, some men may even develop body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a condition where people become fixated on imaginary flaws in their appearance, causing them to shy away and become reclusive This can lead to serious mental health problems such as anxiety and depression’, he warned.

For Tommie everything was so sudden and his life was going through various new phases too quickly. Year 2 post op brought Tommie a new surprise. He found that the infection had spread and he would need to have a penectomy.

‘I was broken’, said Tommie. I was never prepared for this… It was just something I did to get off… Period. “

Following the penectomy, Tommie struggled to see himself as anything other than a little girl.

Everything about me was already changing. I could no longer conceal it—my tone, my gait, even things too uncomfortable to discuss. However, gazing at my reflection became disquieting. I must confess with embarrassment, I futilely attempted to avoid it, slipping into denial. Anxiety would tighten its grip, and overwhelming sensations would engulf me. It feels awkward to admit, but eventually, I found a strange enjoyment in them. In the mirror, only a little girl stared back at me—a thought that sent shivers down my spine. I suppressed it, hesitating to speak of it.

Fortunately, there is help available for those struggling to come to terms with their gender identity and Tommie sought counselling. Today, Tommie is 24. He is no longer Tommie but presents as Tanya and she amuses everyone as she makes light of her predicament with her ruse. Tanya is a true Hero for being brave in the light of adversity and accepting her destiny and making the best of it. She jokingly states ‘I wasn’t aware that there was a woman inside but fate had it that I should be a woman. My balls got the message and killed themselves’.

Comment cloud. Names have been changed to protect identities

Warning Mature Content

Despite Tania’s banter, at least two research papers have documented cases of  the adverse effects of tucking leading to testicular torsion that required immediate orchiectomy.

A medical journal appropriately titled From Tucking to Twisting; A Case of Self-induced Testicular Torsion in a Cross Dressing Male documents how a 24 year old American male crossdresser had to drop the ball. Unlike Tania, he got away with one too few. In a separate incident a male-to-female pre-op Filipino transwoman found herself requiring immediate bi-lateral orchiectomy due to testicular torsion caused by tucking. Well, at least she was mentally prepared.

‘It seems like just yesterday they were there. I often fondly miss them’, bemoaned Tania. ‘At night, I sometimes dream of my manhood, and can actually feel them between my legs. I do have regrets..” she sighed

‘Nevertheless, we need to come to terms with reality… and accept ourselves… to find inner peace…being at peace with ourselves is most important’ she stated.

Going from losing his girlfriend to becoming one, Tanya makes no qualms in stating that her orientation has indeed shifted over the last few years. She does feel a bit uncomfortable whenever she meets her ex-girlfriend “but that lasts for five minutes…she keeps pursuing me though.. with quips.. its weird actually”… Tania recalled… at first she was devastated, thereafter our relationship went downhill and we decided to be friends.

However, She was deeply considerate and comforting all along and actually helped me cope. Then, when the doctor indicated that my pepe had atrophied and the infection was likely to spread, expecting her to be shattered, I reluctantly disclosed the news. But to my surprise she was most amused, finding it difficult to hold a straight face she blurted “I guess you’re just going to have to sport a pair” as she smiled ever so conceitedly.

breasts-8-1800Now, that I do sport a pair… She just loves it. With a tad of subtle humor and an affectionate jibe… about how I’m shaping up…hygiene.. what I should do. What makes me uncomfortable, is the feeling that at some point after the orchie she switched and started wishing for this… her hints, reasoning and advocacy were compelling.

She has a way with me…my crying.. that I wasn’t prepared brought about a startling ruse “Girl, What did you have in mind…contraception?” ..she rubbed it in. The fact is, she’s almost always right – I do end up liking what I tried so hard to resist, such that a blind trust is taking shape. My real fear is, that she is in control – I get this feeling she wants to see me perform… but these are just fears.

What she has stated though, is that she is just dying to see me at the beach … I’m sure she’s thinking bikini… But, I’ve not yet mustered the courage for that… in retrospect I should – I just adore my flat coochie, so maybe…feel so silly right now… but I do get nervous with her around.” said Tanya

While most of us women at some point, have wondered what it is like to be a man… I find men are actually surprised when the question is posed to them..’Ever imagined yourself as a woman?’. In fact judging by their reaction Id say, the thought never occurred and they seem shaken. They can’t even spend a few moments discussing the topic and shrug it off the moment they can.

But for the few brave men that have, they wish to explore in a safe space. When they do it the first time…a paraphilia takes effect…thereafter the rabbits hole becomes continually inviting… The hapless person treads on a path, that will eventually make him helplessly reveal his secret he once thought no one will ever know.

He hasn’t a choice.

When he does let us know, its actually the next level…he has had quite a bit of practice and wishes to further the exploration to: what it feels like to be a woman in the real world, seeking out opportunities like Halloween , theatre and other such events. 

However, in Tania’s case fate had a different plan leaving her with few options. She is one of few who has taken an adverse incident that completely changed her life and is making the best of it. She is a motivated professional whose career has indeed received a boost due to her circumstance.

Being a budding translator, she has quite a bit of traveling sketched out and enjoys meeting new people and all the attention she receives. She is active on LinkedIn but has requested we not disclose her profile. She’s also an avid youtuber and gamer and that keeps her going. 

 

 

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